Oh hey, I’m back. Apologies for the hiatus I accidentally embarked upon for several months. We’ll get into that on Insta, but for now we need to chat about dropping hints.
Some people are totally against this and want the entire engagement ring they want to be a total surprise. If that’s you, can you please tell me your diet because I don’t know how you live this way #JustCapricornThings.
Anyway, Lucas and I have been together for like 83 years at this point so I was pretty comfortable dropping hints when I knew we both wanted the same thing and I’m here to spill the tea so here are somme tips on how to be very BLUNT about what you want while being very SUBTLE. Seriously, it’s a thin line, toe it with grace.
1. Have the talk first
If you are picking out engagement rings, that’s amazing and I love that journey for you. But you can’t just assume your partner wants marriage. Just because you’re in love and have been together forever doesn’t mean you want the same things.
This doesn’t have to be a heart to heart sit down conversation with tears and powerpoints, but just asking “so what’s next?” “do you want to get married someday?” See, easy.
2. Pick out a ring you like
Go on Pinterest, scour through the cuts, colors, etc. and see what kind of ring you like.
BUT. You have to be realistic. If your partner is a teacher and you have been dating for a year and a half, odds are they haven’t saved much if at all for an engagement ring. So asking for a colorless, VVS1, two and a half carat, princess cut diamond with a paved band is not OK.
Go onto a website and create your own ring. I frequented Brilliant Earth, James Allen, and Blue Nile. Doing this will get you familiar with prices that way you can be more precise with your dream ring.
It is very very easy to get lost in a sea of colorless five carat diamonds on Pinterest, which is why I’m lumping in reality with this step. Don’t lose sight of the meaning of the ring in the process of picking one out.
3. Show your people
Show the ring you want to the people you trust with getting this information to your S.O. Some people don’t want to tell their partner who to talk to to help them pick out a ring because they feel it’s too pushy. Me on the other hand, my closest people were IN THE KNOW.
Story: Lucas and I live in Texas and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide the ring in our small apartment so he told my mom and best friend what I wanted and they met with our family jeweler back in Pennsylvania to pick one out. We were driving to San Antonio for Valentine’s Day weekend and on our way there, IN THE CAR, my best friend was sending him pictures of diamonds with prices in the car. And thus, my diamond was chosen.
If you want to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend the people to ask like I did, that will help them greatly.
4. Be specific if there is something you don’t want
One of my friends picked out the ring she wanted but let her BF pick the shape from the ones she liked so that some of the ring could be a surprise. This is super smart especially if you cannot decide on the exact cut you want, give your boo the leeway to get creative with it.
For me, I really did not want a six prong ring. My diamond is round and a lot of round diamonds have six prongs for the security. I personally did not want the extra metal interrupting the beauty that is my engagement ring so I was adamant that there be only four.
Other little things people don’t think to include in telling their partner about their dream ring is the band shape and thickness. If you want a thin band for your diamond give measurements! I wanted a 1.5 mm, comfort fit, solitaire, gold band. Giving this information made sure I didn’t get a 3 mm, knife edge, paved, rose gold band.
5. Know your ring size
If you have tried ring sizers on at the mall jewelers countless times, or printed out one of those little paper rulers on ring sites and you know your ring size is 7.5, don’t let someone try to convince you to “go a little smaller so it doesn’t fall off.” Unless you’re rounding up in ring size, it will not fall off! I repeat, IT WILL NOT FALL OFF.
We got convinced to go from a 7 to a 6 3/4 and I’m not gonna lie to you, it’s a tight squeeze. If I’ve had a lot of sodium the day before, I won’t put it on the day after because I get hella puffy.
6. Don’t be afraid of online jewelers
I was afraid. I’ll admit. We didn’t use a James Allen or Brilliant Earth because we had a jeweler that our family frequented for this kind of stuff, but I know plenty of people who have designed or found a ring online that love their ring! As long as you get the GIA certification with your ring and it’s a REAL and QUALITY site, you are fine.
I know it’s scary because it’s a huge purchase, but I promise you will be okay.
Well, that pretty much sums it up! Dropping hints about rings can be a little daunting because it’s a big step to think about marriage with someone, but if you know what you want it’s important to be clear and upfront.
I am starting a little wedding series here on my blog as my little come back sha-bang, so if you have any wedding planning, proposal, engagement questions for me, feel free to drop me a DM!
Thanks for stopping by ☆